Writer doesn't want to see moms nursing at Starbucks

"Speaking for the school of not letting it all hang out, let me say: Don't. Please, please please. Just don't," writes Roxanne Roberts in her "Letter from Starbucks." She adds: "As a former baby snack bar, let me say upfront: I've been there, done that. But not at my neighborhood coffee bar."

Comments

[Sabado Domingo]

Fair's fair. If chicks get to whip out an appendage at Starbucks and have someone suck on it 'til it squirts white stuff, then dudes get to do the same. Hello public chickenhead!

[Baba Ganoush]

Really now, if you've just shoveled a venti whatsit that's loaded with like a pound of caffeine down your gullet, do you really think breastfeeding is, like, your best option? Hey, I've got an idea, let's allow breastfeeding at bars, and crackhouses, and nuclear reactors, and industrial chemical manufacturing plants, and...

[momwhobreastfed]

Hey, guess what? If a mom is breastfeeding and is any good at it, YOU DON'T SEE HER BREAST. In fact, you can't tell anything is going on other than she is holding her child very closely. I have students whose clothes show more breast on a constant basis than anything you'd see with breastfeeding. Stop snooping around other people so much and pay attention to your own latte.

[Holden]

I think the operative phrase there is "any good at it." The fact is, most aren't. I do not--repeat DO NOT--want to see your saggy udders flopping around in Starbucks. Don't get me wrong, I like boobs just as much as the next guy, but publicly displayed hooters should either have tassels on the end, or be jiggled around near a brass pole, or be ground into my face by a 19-year-old named Brandi in a strip club. They should NOT have a crotch-trophy stuck to the end of them. Dig?

[Neal]

Actually, the term "crotch trophy" should not be hyphenated.

[Carlene]

Juvenile males.

Breasts don't get "whipped out" or "flop around," especially when breasfeeding. And any woman I have ever seen breastfeeding in public has always had the modesty to use a light blanket or towel over the baby's head.

You're just upset that your sexual plaything is being used for more functional purposes and you're pouting. Get over it.

[Bertha]

Hold on there Carlene. I'm a lesbian, and I agree with the "juvenile males". It's gross. And if you read the article, you'd see the breeder involved didn't cover up with a towel. That's part of what she's complaining about.

[Nosmo King]

I don't have a problem with this. I love breasts. Looking at them , touching them , and licking them. I just wish they didn't always have kids hanging from them. Plus, no ugly chicks, please.

[Famous Anus]

I'm totally against public breastfeeding and I'll tell you why. This one time I was in Burger King, and this girl with enormous boobs--they were like 56-FFF, I know my tits--yanks one out of her blouse, then mashes her kid against it. But the kid didn't want that much, and when he pulled away, her boob wouldn't shut off. It kept spraying like a fire hose, and I got milk splashed on my hamburger, and in my Coke, and all over my pants because the thing was squirting uncontrollably all over and my kids starting screaming and hugging my leg and then the manager ran up with a handful of napkins to try to staunch the flow but he slipped in a puddle of milk and cracked his head on the end of the table and I heard that dude's like in a coma or something now and my pants smelled bad the rest of the day 'cause that stuff stinks when it gets hot. So no, I don't particularly support public breastfeeding. Thanks for listening.

[Alvin Wen]

And for heaven's sake, dress tastefully. Those with tattoos and body piercings are invited to go elsewhere. Women, skirts below the knees, and please, no pants or cleavage. Men, dress shirts and long pants only, hair above the collar.

I'm here for a latte, not to have my sensibilities offended.

[Fart Stinkletter]

I'm against it too. The other day I was in a Starbucks, and just ordered a black coffee. I decided I wanted some milk in it, but the milk thermos was empty. Then I spied a nursing mother. I just assumed those things were for everybody, so I went up to her, stuck my coffee cup under her jug and gave a quick tug and squeeze.
All I got for my trouble was smacked upside the head, and now I'm getting sued. Something about a scalded nipple. I agree, it's just bad news to nurse at Sbux.

[pnwgal]

I'm sorry...no one wants to see a mother nurse her baby in a public place. NO ONE. Try feeding your kid at home before you take it out in public. It may be a natural human function, but so is urinating. I don't piss in the middle of Starbuck's-I'd appreciate it if you didn't breastfeed there, either.

[oskarudi]

They use breastfeeding young mommies over here in Germany to plug cell phones on TV. It's supposed to be really endearing to watch one juggle a flip phone in one hand and a ripened mammary with a kid on it with the other. And she's naturally at a restaurant (they always pick some place where others are trying to eat). There's no escape from the spectacle of public Breastfeeding these days.

[Glenn Fleishman]

Geesus, people need to grow up. It's a fricking breast, people. What you're basically saying is, mothers, please hide your shame. Please stay home so when your child needs to be fed every hour to three hours during the first several months that you don't bother us with it. Please, mothers, just don't go out in public.

You don't know you're saying it, because you're all incredibly selfish. It's not gross. It's gross because you project your own discomfort with it.

I mean, the alternative is that mothers would have to huddle for 15 to 30 minutes in a bathroom, go out to a car, or never leave the house.

This is why some states (California included) have had to pass mandatory breast-feeding-allowed laws to prevent you idiots from locking mothers (and leaving them barefoot, too, I imagine) at home.

Anti-feminist, grumble, grumble, grumble, morons.

[Laecan]

Breasts are delicious. Public breastfeeding sexually arouses me. Mmm... Milky-white mammory.

[PO'd Nursing Mama]

Ah, the ignorance. Maybe if mothers were allowed to do what is natural and PROTECTED UNDER THE LAW without getting harassed, then it wouldn't be a big deal. Bottom line: most nursing moms ARE trying to be modest and discreet. But you know what, if we happen to flash our breasts for a millisecond while FEEDING AND LOVING OUR CHILDREN, so be it. The law gives us the right to do that. You may not want to see it but that's just too bad. Your WANT isn't the issue. Turn your eyes away from the mother and baby, for goodness sake. Nursing mothers and their children should not be punished or humiliated for other's ignorance.

[Father of breastfed 2yr old]

Pwngal, how the hell can you compare urination to breastfeeding? Now if somebody was pissing in your mouth at Starbucks, sure, I'd be offended, but breastfeeding is FEEDING. Why does it matter if it comes from a breast or a bottle? Don't put your sexual insecurities and hang-ups on the back of the mother who simply wants to do what is best for her child.

[Father again]

For the ignorant amongst you:

American Academy of Pediatrics

http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics%3b100/6/1035

"Although economic, cultural, and political pressures often confound decisions about infant feeding, the AAP firmly adheres to the position that breastfeeding ensures the best possible health as well as the best developmental and psychosocial outcomes for the infant."

And the World Health Organization:

http://www.who.int/child-adolescent-health/NUTRITION/infant_exclusive.htm

"A recent review of evidence has shown that, on a population basis, exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months is the optimal way of feeding infants. Thereafter infants should receive complementary foods with continued breastfeeding up to 2 years of age or beyond.

Breastfeeding on demand – that is as often as the child wants, day and night"

[Wank Boy]

Father again: Blah, blah, blah, health and development benefits.

You know what would have health and development benefits for me? Public masturbation. If we're going to allow some dopey moo to whip her jugs out in public, then I get to masturbate in public. Don't like it? Waaaaah. Too effing bad.

[Breeders Suck]

This is just more of the same "oh look how fecund I am, earthmother is me" bullshit club that nearly every new parent belongs to. These same people usually have six kids and still claim they're "environmentalists."

Worse is breast-feeding kids who are, I swear, ready to borrow the car. That's just wrong. "Healthy, blah blah blah"--yeah, right, that's what you're doing in a freakin' STARBUCKS, giving your son and his entire little league team a complex no amount of therapy will cure.

[Daddy-o]

This is a non-issue, folks. To the moms - feed your babies whereever and whenever YOU feel comfortable. To those who don't like it - go F yourselves. It's much more disgusting to see an adult eat than a baby who is breastfeeding.

We Americans are still so damned puritanical that we can't see a female breast for what it is. Maybe all of you sexually repressed, dysfuntional twits who have a problem with this should also lobby to have American women wear burqas.

[pnwgal]

It's interesting to me that the ones who are so pro-breastfeeding and so VERY insulting are the ones who do NOT give birth and who do NOT have the equipment for breastfeeding. You fathers who feel it necessary to get your point across by being insulting...when you grow boobs and a uterus and can give birth to children, then you can call me names.

I AM a mother who nursed her son (although not for two frickin years - that's just disgusting). I also work for public health in a section that develops and promotes information for infant and child nutrition, so please don't quote the WHO and the AAP at me. I am not anti-breastfeeding-on the contrary. If you can do it and wish to do it, more power to you! Just have some courtesy for those in public that don't wish to be a witness to your choice of feeding your infant.

[Fish]

What an appalling display of selfishness.

You place your discomfort above the health and welfare of freakin' *BABIES*.

That sort of self-centred thinking just blows me away. You, an adult fully capable of *looking away* feel your momentary and inconsequential discomfort is so important that the mother should secret herself away in a bathroom or in her car, spending fifteen minutes in discomfort so that you don't have to look out the window instead of staring at her breasts.

Talk about *rude*. Grow up and learn to think outside your own little world.

[rev_matt]

I see things in public that bother me a great deal all the time. Visual unpleasantness is a fact of life. Deal with it. When I notice someone slobbering all over their table and spilling half their food while they eat, I find that disgusting. Oddly enough, I don't instantly think "That person shouldn't be allowed to engage in that perfectly natural act within my view". I rather think "Gee, I think I'll look the other way."

It's called individual freedom. You do not have a right to not be offended, get over yourself.

[Phil]

Pwngal, when exactly did breastfeeding your son go from normal to disgusting? Are you so brainwashed into thinking that your breasts are primarily a sexual object that having a toddler get milk from them offends your prudish sensibilities?

And this: "Just have some courtesy for those in public that don't wish to be a witness to your choice of feeding your infant." PLEASE! Throw a fricking towel over YOUR head when you sip your latte please, I don't want to have to witness the way you choose to drink it.

http://www.hyperdictionary.com/dictionary/unsympathetic

[mama]

I find some of the language on this bored offensive. I think I'll leave. Hmm, same thing that those of you who don't wanna see me nursing my child should do!

[Jennifer]

A mother feeding a baby is one of the most natural things in the world. You idiots who compare it to urinating in public (illegal) and masturbating in public (also illegal) are missing the point entirely. The woman who was given a hard time in Starbucks had a LEGAL right to be there and to be doing what she was doing and also had a right to be doing it with WITHOUT being bothered. Here's a tip - I don't need to consider your feelings when I decide to nurse my (15 month old) son in public. If you don't like it - tough - leave, look away, put your head in the trashcan. Don't care what you do, just mind your own business.

[Ohboy]

Is there a more self-righteous creature on the planet than a new mother?

Clue phone ringing: Most of the rest of us have zero interest in your offspring, and put the spectacle of breast feeding in the same category as diaper changing--we know it goes on, but we don't want to see it.

Next you'll be telling us that we should "just deal" with your squalling infants in our movie theaters, ad naseum.

Listen: When you made the decision to have kids, it was not a given that you were going to be able to do everything you want while you have the brat pack in tow. How about showing the rest of the world some common courtesy, and we'll do the same for you? Anyone who goes into a McDonalds expecting to find adults only is a nutter; shouldn't there be places other than taverns where adults can go to escape the depressing spectacle of runny noses, screaming babies and obnoxious brats?

[mom of nurslings]

The WHO recommends breastfeeding a *minimum* of 2 years---those who would say it's "disgusting" are obviously ignorant to the many benefits breastfeeding provides to toddlers.

Do any of you, who seem so outrageously offended by the mere *thought* of a baby nursing from a breast in your vicinity, ever ask *bottlefeeding* mothers to cover their babies' heads while feeding them? Or to leave the room? It's feeding a baby, nothing more.

And I'd wager that all you people protesting the "flopping out" of boobs are exaggerating or flat out lying....it just doesn't happen all that much, especially when you consider that less than half moms breastfeed, and probably a small percentage of *those* even nurse in public. BFing moms are probably more worried about flashing someone than you are of seeing it.

Grow up, people.

[Inferno]

Let's take a step back and look at this logically:

Humans need to eat to survive. During early life, humans were designed to live on human milk, which has all the nutrition plus anti-bodies and many other benefits they require.

The World Health Organization, after research and in-depth studies, has determined and recommended that humans receive human milk for a minimum of two years for optimal health and protection from illness and disease.

Female humans beings have well-developed mammary glands (males have them as well, however the hormones from pregnancy and labor/delivery stimulate the glands to produce milk more easily than a male using manual stimulation etc.) which are designed to feed babies. That is their purpose. However, modern media has created a sexual image of the female breasts, and as such, has effectively made it very difficult to use the breasts for their true function: feeding a baby.

It is understandable why some people are uncomfortable when they encounter breasts being used for their true purpose. After all, society has perpetrated this sexual image of breasts which will take time for each individual to overcome.

And overcome it they must, because the plain truth of the matter is that the very nature of the breast is to feed a baby.

So, if you encounter a mother feeding her baby, and feel uncomfortable, ask yourself this simple question: "Is this an appropriate place for a human to eat?"

If the answer is yes, for example, a restaurant, a mall, a public place, a theater, or anywhere it is legal for food to be consumed by humans, then you can put your mind at ease and realize that everything is as it should be and the only thing to do with your uncomfortable feelings is leave them behind with the social conditioning we all must let go of.

Best wishes to you all and thank you for so open-mindedly considering this issue.

[NevelC]

Actually, as a woman, I find breastfeeding to be so completely sexy that I can barely keep my hands off myself. I say ladies: whip em out. I want to watch. If you see me clenching my thighs together under the table, just ignore it. I am getting all soggy just thinking about it now.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... BREASTMILK!

I'm taking my camera phone over to starbucks. I'd love to get some close up photos to admire later.

[hafpint]

FWIW<

men CAN breastfeed. www.freebirth.com/milkmen.html

Tell you what. You get your latte and go in the bathroom and drink it then you don't have to see our babies eating something that tastes so much better than what you are drinking.

As an extended breastfeeder, my DD is 2 1/2 now and still breastfeeding, in public when SHE NEEDS TO, no one is going to ever tell me to go away for it. I would immediate excercise my legal right to stay put. There is nothing gross about comforting your child who is upset, or helping your child relax enough to fall asleep.

You want me to hurt my child's feelings or even make them sick by not feeding when they are supposed to just because you are too stuck on a boob being your plaything.

I got news for you. women were not made to be your sex toy, we are completely built to be mothers and to nurture and support our species. Everything you find delicious was put there for our babies to be able to survive. Some of us would like to see our babies do just that whether we are in the woods or in Sbucks.

[jumpingbean]

Bertha~ as a gay person who has probably received plenty of unwanted comments regarding your sexuality, I'm surprised that you don't have more compassion for women trying to do what's best for themselves and their children. That's really too bad.

[Sara]

Hey Ohboy- You asked this question:
shouldn't there be places other than taverns where adults can go to escape the depressing spectacle of runny noses, screaming babies and obnoxious brats?
Yeah, if you have no children, it's called "home".

[Amanda]

What creeped me out the most about breastfeeding in public was the number of people I would catch literally staring at me, trying to catch a glimpse of something, just so they could act offended! Hello people. Yes, I'm quietly sitting here in this large cushy armchair facing the wall for a reason, because I'm trying to feed my infant and be discreet about it at the same time. Nothing to see here, please move along. It is not necessary to get out of your chair and walk around me just to verify whether or not you think I'm breastfeeding, you can't see any amount of flesh, so stop gawking!!!!

Honestly, the only reason I can think of for a woman to not breastfeed in public is so she can be out of the way of you perverted, staring freaks who are basically pedophiles trying to get off by seeing an innocent child in a way that you identify with sex. So point the fingers at yourself freaks and ask yourself why you are so uncomfortable with it.

[Tripp]

Heh heh. A guy who likes the sight of breasts is a pedophile just because you've got your child attached to one?

It is silly to think breasts are not sexually attractive to men. It is also silly to think breast feeding is disgusting.

I do agree that gawking is rude, and gawking at a breast feeding woman is doubly rude.

Bertha ~ I second jumpingbean's comment. Pretty "closed minded", don't you think?

[alex]

Halfpint, RIGHT ON. Guess what, people...I DON'T have kids and when I see a woman nurturing her child in the most natural way imaginable, I am overwhelmed with joy. Although I'm not ready to have a child at this point in my life, I look forward to the time when I am able to and raise him/her as I see fit. Biologically, breasts were meant for breastfeeding. There's plenty of medical proof to back that up. Your issues with the female body are YOUR problem. If you don't want to see it, look away. There is nothing to say on this board that hasn't already been said by these brave breastfeeding mothers and I back them whole-heartedly.

There are clearly some young and immature men on here who are unable to understand that they will soon be defending their own wife when she has to nurse in public. It may not be tomorrow boys...but your time WILL come.

All I can say is: be oh so grateful that your own mother was willing to put up with your sorry ass so that you could grow up to be so judgemental.

[Vaffanculo]

I'd rather have a mother breast feed her child than have the kid screaming like an air raid siren because its hungry. I go to Starbucks to relax and have a cup, so I say, STICK A NIPPLE IN IT LADY!

[Amy Alkon]

I'm not a big fan of children, and I find too many of them, these days, are underparented (and allowed to be loud brats in public)...that said, regarding breast-feeding...I'll take it over somebody shouting into their cell phone in Starbucks any day. In fact, what's the big deal? The few times I've noticed somebody breast-feeding, it's not like they're waving their boob around...they seem to try to be discreet about it. Well, there was the woman breast-feeding the 45-year-old man who was a little overt about it...but she was the exception. I'm more disturbed by people in ugly shoes.

[laurdsed]

Hey ohboy,

I support those of you who choose not to have children. And I certainly do not expect everyone who does not have children to understand why it's important to be allowed to nurse in public. I choose to nurture my children as I see fit, including breastfeeding (something that people around the world see as normal), Talk about some common courtesy...would I ask you to eat in a germy bathroom? Then don't ask me to feed my child there.

Here's an idea...when you are old, secretly thank me that I had children who were well-nurtured while they wipe your sorry ass.

[Raena Armitage]

...when you are old, secretly thank me that I had children who were well-nurtured while they wipe your sorry ass.

I'll keep that in mind while I subsidise your child's health care, education and suchlike, not to mention your families-only tax breaks. Turn about, and all that.

Meanwhile, I've never understood the big deal about breastfeeding -- I've never seen anyone bat an eyelid when someone is nursing.

I do question why there aren't more facilities (not bathrooms) for parents -- not because I think breastfeeding should be kept away from the public eye, but because it's also a useful thing for someone to be able to change their infant or whathaveyou in an appropriate environment.

[breastman]

G'head, keep doing it. How else are we gonna voyeuristicly get our jollies off on your exposed breast? People want to see your breast covered not because men are sexually insecure, but because men are sexually PERVERSE.

[Angie]

** Hey Ohboy- You asked this question:
shouldn't there be places other than taverns where adults can go to escape the depressing spectacle of runny noses, screaming babies and obnoxious brats?

Yeah, if you have no children, it's called "home". **

That was nice. I could swear I saw earlier in this thread something about how terrible it is that people would force poor breastfeeding mothers to be uncomfortable or stay at home... oh, wait- here it is: "This is why some states (California included) have had to pass mandatory breast-feeding-allowed laws to prevent you idiots from locking mothers (and leaving them barefoot, too, I imagine) at home."

Cry me a river. I don't want to see some stranger breastfeeding any more than I want to see some misguided soul's pasty white bellyroll. Just because YOU made a choice doesn't mean the rest of the world is going to- or SHOULD- kowtow to you and your precious little miracles every time it strikes you that your sacrifices are 'unfair'.

I don't mind if you're breastfeeding, but have the decency- yeah, DECENCY- to cover up. Regarding the comfort of those being fed, a little baby won't mind a blanket tucked around his or her head, and your two-year-old already has bigger fish to fry if you're obnoxiously insisting on breastfeeding him or her in the middle of Starbucks.

[pooptart]

So...if Janet Jackson only would have been breastfeeding on the Superbowl it would have been OK? And what about Ashcroft covering up the bare breat of Justice?

I've had a woman call herself a 'self-righteous broodmare' when I asked if she wouldn't mind taking the very loud and distracting titty sucking action away from our dining table, perhaps the ladies lounge. Yes, sure it's natural, but it's embarassing and it's personal and noone wants to watch it save maybe other members of the cult of parenthood. There are breast pumps and bottles for those inappropriate times. I don't know, I guess I'm tired of those who are popping all the kids out who think they're doing the rest of the world a favour by reproducing and thus feel they should be able to discuss the colours of baby poop and breast feed at the dinner table, especially in mixed company.

[ron]

whip them out ladies

As a mother who breastfed, I observed that we pretty much fell into two categories.

1) those who did it discretely and to feed our babies
2) those who felt breast feeding was a political act and wanted everyone to take a good look.

I breastfed in public with a receiving blanket and never got any dirty looks.

On the other hand, I was recently at my local Starbucks when a very yummy mummy seated herself right in the corner of two floor-to ceiling picture windows, undid her shirt and breastfed away for the benefit of all the coffee drinkers and passers by. It was exhibitionism, pure and simple, and it's not that uncommon.

[pepper]

Breastfeeding is not about sex--if you only want to see aesthetically appealing breasts, feel free to stay home and stare at Playboy.
Feeding your child in public is not an act of rebellion or an attempt to get attention--quite the opposite--it's a personal practice that is healthy, natural, and not the least bit unsanitary or inappropriate (unlike the other human functions it has been compared to on this board). It's about feeding your baby...plain and simple. If there were "breast feeding rooms" -- as there are bathrooms -- available in public places, i'm sure women would be more than happy to go about their business behind closed doors. However, until then, there's a relatively simple solution--LOOK AWAY and GROW UP.

[Xandra]

Ok
As the mother of a healthy and happy 10 month old who was exclusively breastfed until 6 months and is still breastfed I take offence at the ignorance demonstrated by some of the people on this board. By breastfeeding my child I'm ensuring his future health, he is less likely to suffer from a number of illnesses than a formula fed baby thereby reducing the load on the health system. When I nurse in public I do so discreetly, I don't 'whip em out' and have you ever tried to cover the head of a 10 month old with a blanket. He just thinks it's time for peek a boo and the whole world gets an eyeful of breast, much easier to just wear appropriate clothing that covers what isn't covered by his face.

The primary function of a womens breast is to feed her child. Breasts have been so sexualised that to see a half naked women on a billboard is fine but to see a breast feeding infant is obscent. It is a woman's right, and this has been enshrined in law in many places, to feed her baby wherever and whenever she needs to. Much better a happily feeding baby than a screaming hungry one.

Looking forward to a long and happy breastfeeding relationship, WHO says 2 is best, who's to tell me otherwise.