It was bound to happen: "I am Starbucks" campaign is mocked

It's hard to miss the "I am Starbucks" promotions. Blogger Justin Feinstein isn't impressed. He writes: "Is Starbucks really fooling anyone? Seriously, what’s the point? As a means of helping them better understand (and market to) their customer, I offer the following:

"I am an unemployed freelance designer. I've checked my email 78 times today. I'm on my third cup of coffee. I am Starbucks."

"I'm homeless. It's warm in here. I am Starbucks."

He has more. (GuardedlyOptimistic.com)

Comments

[redcup]

i love the new porch/patio campaign, though the patio furniture is a hassle to take in and out every day.

plus a quick survey for everybody: do you like the new portal / voicemail systems?

[Barista19]

i'm a middle aged, ashey blonde with a french manicure and a coach bag, i'm trying to infuse my suburban hell life with meaning..... I AM STARBUCKS!!!!!!

[portia]

i'm a stay at home mom(very important) i'm here with my adorable kids and their bags of cereal for them to crunch all over the floor. i should be home cleaning my house or volunteering somewhere but instead i'm here, i am starbucks.

I blast my gangster rap when I go through the drive through and I am so absorbed in my texting that the car behind me has to honk. Yet I am a grown woman and I am here for the third time today for my fix. I am Starbucks.

[organic dopio]

i want to learn how anyone can claim to be starbucks if they are not employed by them? the campaign was to illustrate, and give insight of the unique and diverse workforce behind starbucks that people don't get to see everyday. if you are not a partner then you are not starbucks.

[J]

I am a snob from the west end of town. I'm too rich to work, or my husband is too rich for me to work. I drive a gas guzzler, and I don't care, because my kids are too young to fight those wars.. I like driving my toddlers all over town, shopping and such, unleashing havoc on local highways. I'm too busy (I'm on the cell phone) and too important (I wear a big rock) to use my signals or be considerate to fellow drivers. Somehow, I hate my life. The Starbucks drive thru is where I get to regain control over one little part of it. But I have to sit for ten minutes at the order confirmation screen, on the cell phone, with the window rolled up, with fumes idling, before I can figure what I want to drink. Life's a bitch. I am Starbucks.

The Good: I am a hard working, underpaid police officer. I am friendly to the baristas, make sure they're safe in their store and tip well. in turn, they are nice back and give me free coffee. I Am Starbucks.

The Bad: I have figured out the loopholes in the starbucks system by coming in with a disgusting old cup and asking for a refill or getting only iced espresso. I have enough money to pay for a real latte, but i'm just too cheap. I Am Starbucks.

The Ugly: I have a giant rock on my finger and keep popping out kids. I don't have to work so I can spend my whole day at starbucks, on my phone. Because I married up, I have the right to treat the baristas like they are less of human beings. I Am Starbucks.

[Adrian]

I am a starving, drunk college student who really can't afford a latte a day, much less Kraft dinner, Red Bull energy drinks, instant noodles, and cafeteria food. And yet I am here. Again.

I am Starbucks.

[BOSTON STARBUCKS REBEL]

I AM THE ONE WHO IS AND WHO WAS AND WHO IS TO COME. I AM THE BOSTON STARBUCKS REBEL. I AM STARBUCKS.

[Darleen]

I am the customer who comes to the register and when the barista smiles and says good morning to me I shout "grande no foam extra hot latte" without so much as an acknowledgement of her greeting. I am too wrapped up in myself to speak to anyone, let alone this lowly barista.I AM STARBUCKS.

[TravisL]

I am the first mate of the Pequod, and tried to convince Ahab to lay off the whale hunting. I am Starbuck.

"I am the first mate of the Pequod, and tried to convince Ahab to lay off the whale hunting. I am Starbuck."

thats the only creative one ive seen today...cheers.

we weren't trying to be creative. we were trying to blow off some steam. it's much needed after getting treated like you're an idiot all day.

[Darleen]

I work in a place that insults me at every turn. I serve people whose lifestyles and narrow minds rarely escape the gated confines of their country clubs. I serve mascara-ed 12-year-olds with hundred dollar bills. I babysit the toddlers of negligent moms, too caught up in vanilla lattes and town gossip to notice their children running amok and growing into shallow shit stains like themselves. Lest we forget, I cheerily provide a service to people with Dubya bumper stickers
I AM STARBUCKS

[BOSTON STARBUCKS REBEL]

Darleen, you almost sound as jaded as I am.

[Darleen]

That actually was a quote from a local newspaper but I thought it was befitting the theme of the posts. Thank God it doesn't reflect how I really feel about my job. Sorry, but if I did feel insulted at every turn, I'd turn my happy ass out the back door. Just thought I'd shake it up a bit in here :)

[Tully's Man]

I am basically working a fast food job but I have an attitude because I don't sell $1 burgers but $4 lattes. I put a tip jar on the counter and grimace when people don't put something in it, even though I'm just doing my job and nothing special or extra. I push a button on an automatic machine that dispenses coffee, yet insist on calling myself a "barista". I am Starbucks.

Oh Rick, you wish you were starbucks....

[Borrowed Partner]

I have 20 partners in my store who treat each other like family (some are the step-kids or the black sheep, even), I have dozens of regulars that I know we make a difference to, I have a great district with awesome managers all here working together. I wish that everyone's Starbucks Experience was as good as mine. I AM Starbucks.

[brewed with room]

I dunno...
I sort of like the promotions.
They appeal to me for reasons I really can't much explain.
It's a homey feeling, maybe.
*shrug*

[BOSTON STARBUCKS REBEL]

Borrowed Partner,
Maybe you should come back to the real and stop taking so many mind-altering drugs. I am sure you put crystal meth into your partners drink at the same time but who knows. Most of the partners at my stores I treat like my family, I don't bother talking to them if they annoy me and I treat them like dirt. My parents said they always never had favorites but we always know who the BELOVED was and who was the LOSER. Well, thats how I treat my baristas. Some I love dearly and hold them close to my heart. Others are thrown overboard like dead weight and let the sharks move in.

[CoffeeMonkey]

I cope with rude assholes through sarcasm so dry it comes out like sincerity. Despite that, I genuinely like my job and most of my customers. I am Starbucks.

[pretty shifty]

I know every word to every Corrine Bailey Rae song on the CD-and I am not a fan. I can't find anything on the portal. I'm in love with the Grande Mocha who comes in with his laptop everyday. I am a doomed optimist with a vague memory of the Starbucks Experience class (was that Starbucks?) I guess I'm Starbucks then. And if time worked equals time paid, I've got a lifetime of retro pay coming.

[20secondshotguy]

OK. I have to admit that I laughed reading a couple of these.

And the way that Darleen surprised Boston Starbucks Rebel--to quote another ad campaign--"priceless."

I find the campaign to be very cool. Seeing a quote by the artist whose designs are on our products, along with his picture reminds me that real people benefit from what we do. If we were a one or two store company, or if Starbucks was our small business, we'd know all these people, because we'd meet them. They would come into our store--the way folks still do sometimes--and ask us if we want to buy what they make.

As it is, we know the names of the UPS driver and the folks who bring us everything we use in the store. And it generally stops there.

But everything comes from somewhere. There the people who packed the pallets at the roasting plant that were put on the truck that came to the store. Then there's the driver who brought pallets of supplies to the roasting plant from another plant.

Who are these people?

I don't know, but I bet they are glad we're in business. I bet sometimes they walk into our stores and think to themselves, "Oh, that's how they use that." Others think, "I packed that" or "I made that." And still others, who say proudly, "that was my idea." All of those folks are glad we're in business. They live the lives they do, because of what we do. There are hundreds of thousands of people we will never meet who put food on their tables because of what we do. Blows me away sometimes.

Personally, the coffee grower ones are my favorite.

I've been thinking, who is this campaign for? Is it for me--yeah, it speaks to me. But it's for our customers. For our regulars, some of them thinks it's cool. I've heard that. I think it's for them, but they know us, right? They know which partner is in school, which partners can make them laugh and which don't care (sadly). They know the DM too. So it stretches their sense of the people behind our products. A good thing, no?

It's also for the customer who isn't a regular. The one who might think of us as this big company or as a corporate coffee shop. Customers that we haven't connected with yet. It's for the one's who see us push a button to pull a shot and don't realize how hard we try to make sure their drink is right. They don't know how hard the job really is because we make it look easy a lot of the time and because they are in a rush to get where they're going too.

That's one of the hardest parts about this job. When customers only see us as someone who serves them. But I care about everything I do and I think that's true of most of us. The little conversations we have, yeah, some of them are filler, but more matter to me more than you realize. Why? Because I'm me and you're you and there's this thing about respect and dignity that's important to us. But there's more. My sons first words include, "Tiazzi" pronounced "yazzi". My daughter loves coming to "coffee work." I know you didn't know that. I didn't expect you to.

Those folks on the posters--you won't see my picture there--but I feel responsibility to them too. Doing what I do and doing it well, helps keep them in business. I am Starbucks.

[Mark McDermott]

I was Spartacus
I was the NRA, and I voted
I was Tiger Woods
Now
I AM STARBUCKS

or at least I'm full of Starbucks

[Mark McDermott]

And
I was, I was Superman, and I knew what's happening.

[sbuxnewbie]

I'm the guy who enjoys my job, generally likes my customers (even when I recognize a couple as a waste of protoplasm), feel like I'm with family when I'm with co-workers ("We put the DYS in DYSFunctional!"), love my manager, keep the music volume down far enough that we can actually hold conversations in the store, don't have a problem with making frappuccinos, and leave work tired, but feeling good about myself and what I do.

I'm pretty sure that _I_ am Starbucks.

[Borrowed Partner]

BSR-
As usual, you SO missed the point. Do you just DIG for negativity? I don't believe that this is some corporate nirvana, I am just saying that I am lucky to be a part of a great store and district. I KNOW it isn't like that for everyone, and it sure isn't perfect here. But it works for us. Lighten up, would ya?

[BOSTON STARBUCKS REBEL]

I *heart* Starbucks. I love it when I drink Sumatra because I feel like Uncle Howie is in me. I want everybody to feel the same way, like Uncle Howie is filling them up inside also. Touching their inmost being. I AM STARBUCKS because Uncle Howie is in me and I want to put some of him in you too.

[cordelia]

I'm a little weany man,my fat ass wife is in the car knocked up again(hence the decaf mocha frappacino) i'm in here with my 2 kids, my little daughter has just pranced up to the barista and said SUCKER! my darling son is opening his organic milk before it is scanned,i have to be hostile because barista is not responding to the cuteness of my kids so i say LONG DAY ?!!!! I am starbucks.

[Taylor]

I think most people missed the message in the marketing, which is why it hasn't gone over well. We had a regular come in and make a vague comment last month or so asking us what we thought of our new "marketing tactic"...and I wanted to drag her to the poster and say, "This is a REAL person who works for OUR company...what tactic are you implying?"

Most think it is just pictures of random people, showing Starbucks is in everyone. This is not the case. It is opening people's eyes to the bigger picture. Showing them that our company is not just grumbling baristas and rich execs in Seattle, but thousands of others who make this all happen.

[anne boyln]

Make what happen?

[BOSTON STARBUCKS REBEL]

Be careful or else I will have to cut off your head too Anne. The Boston Starbucks Rebel has no fear because I am immortal, the everliving! I am Starbucks.

[Dave]

The point of the campaign is to make people think Starbucks is some down to earth company that is helping people in general. It's obviously there to help them sell more coffee. Starbucks isn't that bad though. I think they are generally pretty responsible and I'm willing to overpay for the drinks and I can afford it so I don't really mind them.

[Broyling Water]

I'm an a-hole Starbucks customer. I make out with my girlfriend in front of the register, while the Barista is trying to get me rung up. I ignore the Barista, then throw a hissy fit when he moves on to someone else in the 20 person long line. I am a completely self-centered creep with a butt ugly girlfriend..I am Starbucks

(I'm dead serious, this happened to me today) Thank god some of my regulars were there, so I got their drinks called as I was waiting for these kids to stop playing tonsil hockey in front of everyone..)

[loveitlocal]

I boycott Wal-Mart because it's becoming a universal, money-grubbing chain that's destroying our local culture and treats their employees like crap, but I visit Starbucks over our local coffee house because I actually believe they treat their employees well. I ignore the fact that they insure fewer of their employees than that big Bentonville-based behemoth. I am Starbucks.

[Darleen]

Those folks on the posters--you won't see my picture there--but I feel responsibility to them too. Doing what I do and doing it well, helps keep them in business. I am Starbucks.

I said it before and I'll say it again. I like you 20secondshotguy. Your awesome personality, quick wit and intlligence all make for really worth while posts. I wish we were in the same area. If you ever are by my way lets sit down and have some drinks and keep the spark alive in us. Starbucks hopefully knows what a gem you are. To quote that phrase "having an awesome partner like 20secondshot guy...priceless.

[Darleen]

Make what happen?

If you have to ask, you are NOT STARBUCKS.

[javachip]

Darleen, as a manager thats a pretty sad and disturbing attitude to be posting. If it's that bad find something you like doing!

[javachip]

Sorry Darleen didn't read the second post. ya you shook it up. Still I don't feel it's very becoming of a manager..but that just my opinion

[Darleen's Sex Slave]

Bite me, javachip.

[Darleen]

Bite me, javachip.

Posted by: Darleen's Sex Slave

Since when do I have a sex slave? Javachip, while you certainly are entitled to your opinion you should know if you read any of my posts that I am a starbuckian through and through. Although we all need to blow off a little steam so I usually take these posts for what they are, someone venting after a bad day. That post was someone else's thoughts, I just happened upon it and thought it fit the theme of the blog. Not my words, not my thoughts. However, your point was taken, thanks for telling it like it is....

[texas1]

i am........uh.....me.

[Darleen]

i am........uh.....me.

well said texas1, and funny too

[Diana the OTHER BN Barista]

If Darleen was a manager at one of my 3 Starbucks (3 in about a 40 mile radius, who knew there could be so few right? lol), I would leave B&N and work for her in a heart beat. She reminds me of my first manager at B&N, who is a former partner. Now, I can't speak specifically for Darleen, since I have not met her, let alone worked with her, but my previous manager was supportive, kind, patient, and new her employees inside and out. To the point where she knew everyone strengths, weaknesses, and preferences and "exploited" them. There was not one day I didn't go to work that she didn't try to challenge me to be better and that I didn't rise to the occassion (ok, once, but I had just gotten back from having mono). Managers like Tarah (my former) and Darleen are hard to find and should be respected.

Darleen, if you ever leave wherever you are and come to north eastern PA, you let me know and I'll come work for you.

[stcrtemple]

Diana the OTHER BN Barista:

I have you beat; I live in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (yeah, I'm sure no one knows where that is) and there are only 2 Starbucks here in Marquette (one is the licensed store @ NMU). The closest one is in Green Bay, WI, a 3 hour drive.

[Darleen]

Wow, Diana I don't know what to say! That was so sweet, humbling actually. I do not deserve it though, I know many managers out there that in my opinion are the best, and my mentors. If you ever come down to the sunshine state I'd be honored to have you on my team. Again, thank you for the very kind words! :)

[zeroperatioshift]

"i am laughing so hard reading these posts, i think i s**t my pants. I AM STARBUCKS."

-zeroperatioshift

[20secondshotguy]

What I love about the BN baristas--the two I've seen post here--is that you are living proof of the mistake company operated folk make when we say things like--"BN Starbucks are not real Starbucks." You are Starbucks too.

Diana--build your skills--treat your people the way Tara treated you and before you know it, someone will be on a board somewhere giving you tribute.

[starbucks*stole*my*heart]

wow these make me laugh especially Daves