I was in the Suburban Chicago Edens Plaza Starbucks a few weeks ago and a guy in his late teens came in without a shirt. His girlfriend (shirt on, by the way) ordered their drinks and they sat down. I was expecting a Starbucks employee to tell the guy to put a shirt on, but no such luck. (This is very small store, so it's not like they didn't see him.) I'm sorry, but I don't want to see shirtless people in food/drink outlets. It was at that moment I realized that each Starbucks store needs a "Bad Barista" -- a tough guy who wears a black apron and deals with the kind of Starbucks customers I don't like. These people include:
1. Customers who talk on cell phones while ordering their drinks. (Bad Barista: "Turn that damn thing off before I dip it in a venti Frap!")
2. People who take a newspaper off the for-sale rack, read it, then return it and expect that somene's going to pay for that used copy. (Bad Barista: "Hey cheapskate: You have five bucks for a coffee drink and can't fork over fifty-cents for a newspaper? Gimme a break!")
3. "Guests" who order drinks that contain more than eight words. (Bad Barista: "You're not impressing anyone with your fancy-ass drink! It's a short drip coffee for you!")
4. People who order water and don't want to pay for it. No wonder prices are going up; we're subsidizing those freebies. (Bad Barista: "See that dog bowl outside? The water in there is fresh.")
5. Regular meetings of Old Codger's Clubs, where old guys basically talk, cough and blow their noses for hours on end. (Bad Barista: "Ever hear of Denny's? They were made for people like you! Now make a bee-line over there.")
Care to add to the Bad Barista's task list?
6. When some cunty soccer mom indulges her bratty 8 year old kid with a half-caf-double-decaf-breve-affogato-no-cream and the brat changes his/her mind mid-drink and stares blankly at the board trying to figure out what to order --- with 9,000 people in line behind them.
(Bad Barista: Time's up brat! SMACK!)
Posted by: Varangy | July 27, 2005 at 05:23 PM
People who start placing their order then run around and start gathering up things they want to buy. I am not talking about items the workers must get for them but items on the shelves the customers must pick out.
Posted by: dave | July 27, 2005 at 05:31 PM
I think I am already the bad barista. I mean I slowly go through a person's order, repeat the person's name, repeat the order, and then forget half-way through the calling what I actually meant to say so I start all over again! 7) The bad barista who tells the homeless people to get out and get a job. And when they get out that means not standing next to the door and begging for money. When I order a drink, I put the person on hold on my phone and tell them I'm ordering and can't talk to them. The barista looks very happy!
Posted by: Boston Starbucks Rebel | July 27, 2005 at 06:00 PM
Out here in San Diego it's not that uncommon for guys to come in with no shirts or for girls to come in their swimsuits...that is, in the coastal stores. It's just part of the Southern California culture. However, if I decide to go to Starbucks shirtless, I sit outside...it's a little awkward inside.
Posted by: Friendy | July 27, 2005 at 07:20 PM
My old store needed a Bad Barista each shift to deal with the parade of shoplifters, people who wanted to shoot up drugs in our bathroom (always fun to find blood on the floor and a syringe in the trashbin), tip-stealers, and homeless people wanting water.
We were a few blocks from a fairly crappy neighborhood and although most customers were just fine, the ones that weren't REALLY weren't.
Posted by: ExSFBarista | July 27, 2005 at 08:50 PM
I'll admit it. I'm guilty of #1, or at least I used to be when I still commuted. My lunch hour is only so long, and yeah I returned calls while in line. A Bad Barista would probably have my picture posted!
Posted by: CGG | July 27, 2005 at 10:25 PM
The people who put bare feet up on the seats, the homeless people who come in with bags and food, the nursing mothers who don't even try to cover up a bit, the screeching toddlers running around when EVERYONE ELSE is working quietly on laptops or having conversations in a normal tone of voice.
Posted by: Deeni | July 27, 2005 at 11:25 PM
The idiots who bring their kids with them when they are 'working' ... hey dummy, that's what the HOME office is for!!!
The dolts who think it's OK to walk behind me while I'm working on my PowerBook, look at the screen and ask me what I'm working on... or say really brillient things like 'working?' 'on a computer?' 'is that the Internet?'
Yes, I'm working, now fuck off please.
Posted by: david parmet | July 28, 2005 at 05:26 AM
Table/seat staker-outers. People who are in a couple or more, and send one of the brood out to claim a table even though they are last in a long line. I think the Potbelly's rule should apply in Starbucks -- don't sit down 'till you gotcher order, biotch.
Ok, I'm guilty of this. But this weekend I had a seat-staker take the last seat at a tiny Starbucks in downtown Chicago from right under my nose. I'm still bitter ;-)
Posted by: ivy | July 28, 2005 at 09:45 AM
What's wrong with #1? I'm perfectly capable of telling the person on the other line to hold on for a second while I order. What if someone called me while I was walking to the store--should I really ask the caller to wait an unspecified amount of time until I get through the line and order? That could 10-20 minutes at some busy Starbucks!
What you really need to worry about is ANY behaviour that delays placing the order when the line is long. This includes standing at the counter talking on the phone, *but not ordering*, or just standing at the counter and trying to decide on an order after having already been in line for ten minutes, or fumbling to find a form of payment when it should have been in your hand already.
And what's wrong with #4? If I order a drink, why shouldn't Starbucks give me water for free? What's the cost of the water relative to the cost of the drink? Do they charge you extra for (regular) water at (most) restaurants?
Posted by: Winter | July 28, 2005 at 10:13 AM
Re: Free Water. I'm talking about, for example, the junior high kids who (at the Central St. store in Evanston) pile into Starbucks and want free water (without purchase) after school. Also, the halfway-house people (who visit the Main Street store in Evanston) and say, "I get my check on Friday, so can I have a large free water today?"
Posted by: STARBUCKS GOSSIP webmaster | July 28, 2005 at 11:33 AM
You can hardly blame the customers who order a drink with more than 8 words...my local Starbucks handed out a multi-page booklet on how to make your drink "your own" by asking for any number of tongue-twisting permutations. If you want short drink orders, don't offer 17 variations.
As for free water, give me a break. On a $1.90 for a venti coffee, Starbucks is probably making about $1.50 profit. You can't throw in the ocassional free cup of water?
And as for reading the paper, I do look at the front page and then put it down again. So sue me. If the line moved a little faster I wouldn't have the time. And what exactly is a "used" newspaper? If they don't want people looking at them, put them behind the counter.
Posted by: an american | July 28, 2005 at 12:16 PM
Has the heat and sweating taken the milk of human
kindness from our Starbucks Gossip Webmaster?
There are better cafes, better lounges and such
than starbucks' coffee tills.
So a few people don't conform to the (your) ideal.
Such is life.
How about "People who blog about coffee. Bad customer, you
are doing the equivalent of examining your stools in public and out loud. You must go out the back door where
you will be taken to Costa Rica to work in the coffee plantations for two months and
there examine your stools after eating the local diet.
Posted by: Good Good, poor coffee | July 28, 2005 at 12:29 PM
Howdy!
Does anyone know where the name "Starbucks" comes from? I have an idea but I wanted to "sea" if anyone knew for sure.
Posted by: Kevin | July 28, 2005 at 01:18 PM
Yes, the heat has made me *very* cranky. If fact, I need a cold water now. (I'll pay for it, thank you.)
Posted by: STARBUCKS GOSSIP webmaster | July 28, 2005 at 01:58 PM
What's wrong with giving a homeless person a damn water? Hell, create a separate donation jar so patrons can buy 'em a coffee and a damn bagel, too. S/he can take the occassional free water I should be getting but don't have time to take in the mornings.
What do you have against poor/possibly mentally ill people getting a little hydration?
And why don't old people (and their physical frailty) have every right to down an overpriced coffee with the rest of us? God Bless 'em for getting out of the house with the few friends they have left. Why do they have to go somewhere as depression as Denny's?
For me, the "bad" barista would be reserved for people who are just outright rude to the staff and customers. The over-indulgent parent is an excellent example!
Posted by: isadora | July 28, 2005 at 02:03 PM
Wow, a lot of defensive customers!
The fact is if you are friendly and semi-regular the baristas will bend over (well..) backwards and let you break any rule in the book. Except the newspaper shit, I used to hate that crap.
Posted by: jubal harshaw | July 28, 2005 at 02:23 PM
I wish I could have a Bad Barista paddle so I could spank all the bad custoemrs. There could also be this apron that says "Bad Barista"!
Posted by: Boston Starbucks Rebel | July 28, 2005 at 04:20 PM
Guys .. in my country (KSA) u could see the most stupid customers ever .. "Caramel Frapp" .. "Oh is that Ice Cream" ? ...but what can we do .. Customers Always Right .. as much as painfull it is that sometimes u wish to kick them right in the ass ..RIGHT PARTNERSSSS ?!!
Posted by: Alia | July 28, 2005 at 04:42 PM
I have no problem with getting someone - homeless or not - the occasional cup of water if they wait in line like everyone else and are polite about it, but the problem is that people abuse the privilege, and the more desperate their circumstances are, the more they tend to abuse it.
I don't care if you're poor, drug addicted, mentally ill, or all of the above. You lose the right to my giving you ANYTHING the moment you stick your hands into my tip jar the moment my back is turned to get you that cup of water. Baristas in my town get minimum wage, and the tips we get make a real difference in our ability to make ends meet.
Posted by: ExSFBarista | July 28, 2005 at 04:51 PM
There is a woman who comes into our store every day, orders a tall decaf drip,(Sumatra; you know who you are!!) eats samples with both hands, and takes change out of the tip jar to pay for her coffee...unless I see her first. I move the tip jars when I see her in line. She also complains loudly every time we don't have bran muffins (could use the roughage, from the looks of her) but NEVER buys one when we do.
I wanna be the "Bad Barista" for just one day, so I can toss her wrinkled ass on the street.
Posted by: javajockey | July 28, 2005 at 05:13 PM
Starbucks.... Starbuck; fist mate in Moby Dick
As for being a bad Barista. I love my job, but when I do leave Starbucks, I want to be a BAD Barista.
I want to say, "Hey pal, You are NOT that friggin important, hang the damn phone up and order or move your ass..."
"Quit holding up the 10 people behind you while you search your suitcase of a purse for 4 damn pennies. Just give me the $5 bill and put your friggin chnage in the tip jar."
"No you can't change your order for the forth time, your drink is made, you paid for it, move along."
As for water, you pay, I'll give you any size, as much water as you want, afterall, you are a customer - you are not buying anything - then Why are you here bugging me for a Venti cup of free water? Here is a tiny cup of cold water to quench your thirst. Now move along!
Posted by: CoffeeBoy | July 28, 2005 at 05:44 PM
I'm a Barista in the birthplace of Starbucks, and we're definitely a busy, busy store. In regards to having a "Bad Barista," that's great and all, but you wouldn't last a day in the strict Seattle district. I would love to be the BB for a day so I can statisfy my urge to slap the people who violate #3 (long drinks). We have a woman that comes in from the telecommunication build next door (not naming due to possible backlash)and orders this drink - decaf single grande extra vanilla 2% extra carmel 185 degree with whip cream caramel machiato. Keep in mide she does this around 8:30-8:45am, definitely the busiest time for us. It's people like her that I despise, and there are quite a few customers like her that come to our store. People behind her often are impressed by her (really pathetic) or just laugh at her. What I really want to say is exactly what a BB would say, "You're not impressing anyone with your fancy-ass drink! It's a short drip coffee for you!, so get your sweet milk and your ugly ass out of here!" Anyways, that's my biggest petpeve. In regards to free water, I'm not against it. I give out water consistently to the hot ladies that work next door to us, and I guess it's just another way to lower Starbucks' profit margin, which is fine with me! Ok, gotta get out of here before I go on another big rant...
Posted by: *Mohammed* (fake name due to possible backlash) | July 28, 2005 at 06:49 PM
I work downtown in a mid-to large city in the mid-South and some days I swear half our customers are homeless people asking for free samples and Venti ice waters. It gets old fast...like around 6am. The rest of the people that come in are clueless fools wanting one of those "frap a KEEN oes" or (my favorite after the homeless people) Cheap Guy that demands a blended soy beverage for under $2 who skulks about waiting for a pastry to crumble so he can point it out so we have to either toss it or sample it (I prefer the former in his case) and his female counterpart Designer Suit and Sunglasses Wearing Cheap ' Do you Have a Free Sample of Green Tea Frappucino' Been in Twice This Week Asking the Same Thing Never Buying Crap Not Fooling Anyone Yr Game is Over Cow.
Oh how I would LOVE to be Bad Barista for a day...Especially after I watched one of my cow workers being verbally assaulted by some crazy horrible smelling beast of a homeless guy. What *$ needs is balls to kick out the stupid and horrible IMO it would greatly improve the whole "experience"
Posted by: bitter barista | July 28, 2005 at 09:43 PM
Baristas should have more power to be "bad." Anyone who is seen taking from the tip jar should be banned from the store.
Off the topic a bit: Why does Starbucks have open tip jars? It's a crime of opportunity. I mean, they don't have to be as secure as a Salvation Army kettle, but at least a cover with an opening smaller than a hand, and a latch.
Baristas have enough to do without policing the tip jar.
Posted by: ivy | July 29, 2005 at 09:08 AM
Don't you despise a customer who comes in and asks for grande non-fat cappucino and you get all excited because the store is almost empty and you have the chance to make the perfect cappucino, in a "for here" cup(!), with liquid chrome foam piled high and super sexy delicious. You create, very likely the best cappucino of your life, not too dry and and just at the right temperature. Then that same customer, you know the one, who wears the fake Gucci sunglasses and only comes in the day after welfare cheques are diposited, complains and says, "this is ALL foam, can you fill it up with milk. I didn't pay $3.91 for a cup full of foam." Thats what a fucking cappucino is you ignorant hoochie fool! Some people are just soooo not worthy!
Posted by: Jon | July 29, 2005 at 10:20 AM
I thought "bad barista" was the barista that lets five or six coffee drinks line up at the espresso machine and then screws upp each of them. I mean I just want an americano (on ice, medium) is that really hard?
Note: this doesn't happen at my regular city shop, but usually at my nearby suburban shop
Posted by: Frank | July 29, 2005 at 03:24 PM
I also want to be the bad barista. Like, when a customer orders a grand latte, gets to the hand-off counter while I'm putting a venti frappuccino(dosn't matter which flavor)on the bar...I yell out "venti vanilla bean frappucino" and the latte customer grabs it takes a sip then accusingly say "this isn't what I ordered, I wanted a grande latte". Oh how I would love to say "I know lady, it's not my first day. You just took that other customers drink, which I now have to drop everything to re-make. Your latte is about 10 drinks down the line. So just wait your dam turn. You are not the only person in the world."
Posted by: fakesmile | July 29, 2005 at 04:59 PM
I like to order 17-word beverages... :X But I usually try to do it just when there aren't any people in line behind me.
Posted by: dave | July 29, 2005 at 06:15 PM
I wholeheartedly agree with having a bad barista. The store right by my office needs one to move along all the people in line who insist on taking an hour to order their drink while I'm waiting for them to hurry the fuck up because I'm on the verge of being late.
Though they shouldn't be called the bad barista. In a tip of the hat to Seinfeld, the bad barista should be called the barista nazi. Take too long....NO COFFEE FOR YOU!!! Drink too complicated?.....NO COFFEE FOR YOU!!! Look at the barista wrong?......NO COFFEE FOR YOU!!!
Posted by: Thinksdifferent | July 29, 2005 at 08:51 PM
AAACCCKKK!!! That's it! Coffee Nazi! THAT'S what I wanna be! ;p
Posted by: javajockey | July 29, 2005 at 08:58 PM
People who want to pay for their venti coffee out of the tip jar. Sorry the cities taxes make out venti cost 2.01 instead of the neighboring cities 1.99, but it's not your money and if we let you do it everyone else will want to do it too.
Families ordering triple venti drinks each requiring a seperate pitcher of milk right before close at the worst possible time (marzocco)
Smelly homeless man who squats in the cafe and harasses my coworkers for spare change while we are working then asks for a free water.
The bitchy custom drink lady who complains we will mess up her drink but always forgets to ask for "no water" or uses vague terminology like "extra hot" when she really want something past the boiling point of milk.
You are infamous at our stores for rudely attacking every new Barista.
Those who race to the register and stare, dumbfoundedly, at the whole bean coffee board and refuse to let me help them find the that "you know, the mint frappachewy thing" on the other menu.
People who pretend to understand me when I'm trying to confirm a drink order then mention, while I'm topping their iced venti mocha, that it doesn't look right and they really need a venti mocha frappuccino.
People who refer to frappuccinos as FRAPPS.
Decaf Light frappuccino complaints.
Chantico in July.
Drinks containing fractions of a shot.
"Hi, can I get a 3/4 shot grade White Chocolate Mocha" ... "a 1/4 shot venti mocha"
Posted by: Can't always be nice | July 30, 2005 at 01:52 AM
Uggh...I hate it when customers call Frappuccinos FRAPPS.
Posted by: Friendly | July 30, 2005 at 03:23 AM
Having worked in the service industries, #1 is the worst -- it's just rude. It dehumanises the person serving. They're usually trained to offer the best customer service and there really isn't anything worse than said customer not repaying with some attention.
I work in a call centre and frequently some will call with a query and before I can answer their mobile phone will go and I'll be sat there waiting for them to have a chat before they return and I can help them. Sometimes it'll happen just after I've answered the call. I realise in the cafe situation its different because you're face 2 face, but I've watched it happen in our local and sometimes you're the next person in line waiting for the #1 offender to be served and it takes minutes longer because the barrista is having to wait for a pause in the customer's conversation in order to ask questions / take money / point them to the serving point.
All of which said, our local Starbucks has a couple of Bad Baristas. We are frequently plagued by chair to chair sellers -- people who walk in off the street and try to sell lighters/socks/meat from a dirty career bag of dubious quality. The minute they're clocked, a hithertoo unseen giant man in a green apron appears from the kitchen and makes his presence known ...
Posted by: Stu | July 30, 2005 at 03:58 PM
To the person complaining about breast feeding, and the OP who talked about someone wearing no shirt. Both of those are natural, the former should indeed be acceptable, whereas the later is debatable.
Posted by: | July 30, 2005 at 04:44 PM
Yeah, breastfeeding is natural. So's shitting.
Posted by: javajockey | July 30, 2005 at 05:45 PM
Working downtown Seattle in the "Heart of Seattle" district, comes complete with damn near minimum wage pay. Those who take our tips might as well just ask me to bend over and do a little double-dip action with their free iced venti water. As for those who want to sit in line, our labor allowance is regulated by our budget, which is determined by performance, and if it takes us one extra minute every other customer thats a significant portion of our capacity reduced, thus, I get no hours. So take forever, take our tips, spend our time serving paying customers with your free waters, and make sure you get insulted when I call the drink out in the right order to the barista on bar so that it's made right.. because you think we are correcting your improper ordering technique. And by the way, we do love our regulars, they are special and we connect with them. The curbhumper psychos that want special attention can find it somewhere around 4th and Pike underneath the bus stop bench. Thank you! I want to be your bad barista.
Posted by: heartofseattlebarista | July 30, 2005 at 07:22 PM
This is for the BAD CUSTOMER.
Why do you sit in line for 30min's giving me bad looks like I can make the line go faster because some person wants a (va-nu-ty) size latte 180' no foam (I'm sorry very hard to make 180' no foam) but hey we baristas can do anything....yaa
latte. Then you get to the front of the line and you sit there looking at the menu board for 20min when you had all that time waiting in line for 30min giving me crustys when the dang person four in row did the same thing...
How bout you check out the board and have your money ready. That might make thing go faster..
hmmmm something to think about
Posted by: | July 31, 2005 at 12:50 AM
In NYC, most of the tip jars are LOCKED. They are lidded plexiglass cubes with a slit on top, anchored to the counter.
Posted by: | July 31, 2005 at 12:39 PM
We used to have people all the time stuff cups and napkins in the toilets and flush. Nothing like cleaning up an overflowing toilet 2 times a day or so.
I say have a bad barista bathroom attendent.
Posted by: jillian | July 31, 2005 at 12:41 PM
Also, I won't deal with customers on cell phones. I will wave the next person up, or say "who is READY to order?" Once a girl on a cell phone was so spaced out, she forgot to take her change (from a $20 bill) and simply walked out of the store. Big tip that day.
Posted by: cornfrost | July 31, 2005 at 12:42 PM
I dont work at a Starbucks, or frankly, use Starbucks...I stumbled onto this message thread, but... the tip jar thing bothered me.
All your tip jars should be locked (as mentioned in NYC post) and anchored to the counter. No one should be able to get to your tips.
Your company should make sure its employee's earnings are protected.
Posted by: Ann | July 31, 2005 at 08:35 PM
I work at a Starbucks in San Diego, California. Last week Jessica Bile came in! She had her friend order her drink for her and waited in the corner very incognito with sunglasses and a hat on. The store was packed. However, as I glanced the store my eye caught her imediately, after watching her on 7th Heaven and her various movies, including her newly released Stealth. I glanced the names on the cups and didn't see a Jessica. I went about doing my business making drinks. Then I called out a grande soy vanilla chai latte for Jaime and Jessica Bile comes to pick it up at the hand off counter. I said, Hi Jessica! She smiled and left the store, it was pretty cool, she seems very low key for being a celeb. But just for all you celebrity fans, she drink grande soy vanilla chai's, so go order one!
Posted by: | August 01, 2005 at 01:21 AM
Jim --
You had me here until you got to the old codger part. I'm still trying to figure out why a group of older people sitting around, drinking coffee and talking is worse than a cluster of youngsters doing the same thing. To the person who wondered if they should put off a caller just because they're in line at Starbucks, I actually did an interview with someone who was in line at a coffee shop recently. He asked me to wait for a minute and it was just fine. If you feel compelled to conduct personal or professional business in line -- and I don't recommend it in most cases -- all you have to do is say I'll call you right back or I'm putting you on hold for a sec when you get toward the front.
One more thought: In a lot of coffee shops, I find it's the regular customers who serve as guardians of conduct good or bad.
Posted by: Staci K. | August 01, 2005 at 11:40 AM
you forgot to add when customers come thru the drive thru and have their kids order their drinks for them because they think its cute, when what it really is, is annoying. (Bad Barista: "hey its FRAPPUCINO, NOT FRAPPALAPPA, and no its not cute, thank you very much")
Posted by: ashley | August 02, 2005 at 03:14 AM
oh yeah and "can i get A VENTI CARAMEL FRAPPUCINO LIGHT with EXTRA EXTRA CARAMEL AND EXTRA WHIP CREAM, uhh thats fat free right?" argh people are silly!
Posted by: ashley | August 02, 2005 at 03:17 AM
Bad Barista sounds like a Penthouse pictoral. (Extra foam!)
Posted by: Larry Davenport | August 02, 2005 at 09:52 AM
i didn't read every comment, so if somebody already posted this, lo siento mucho...my mocha didn't last that long, but, there was a time when an earthen jug 'o water and little plastic cups were available at the condiment bar, meaning, drink up thirsty youth or homeless! of course, the baristas would have to fill up the thing and all that or am i thinking nordstrom cafe espresso's here?
how about bad starbucks custie?
as in "hey baristas, please talk about jenny's new designer specs she wore during her shift yesterday on your own time", espech when you've waited 10 minutes and your iced mocha got skipped b/c of excessive barista bantering.
Posted by: melina | August 02, 2005 at 03:04 PM
Usually our customers aren't that bad - but lately, (I think due to the hot weather) it's gotten ridiculous. Some people are VERY inconsiderate and it drives me crazy! Like the people who have their children order (when there is a lineup out the door!!) for them AND THEN count out the exact change in dimes ($5!!!). Drives me crazy!
I will definitely go out of my way to make your time at Starbucks a good one, but when you start acting like you own me because you bought a coffee for $1.50, grow up. Stop being a #$@% and realize the world does NOT revolve around you and your freakin' cell phone!
Posted by: Meg | August 03, 2005 at 01:09 AM
Been with the 'bucks for 16 years. I guess I am just over being a prick as there are too many shitty partners in this company as is. I just work with folks, provide them with respect and patience. Only time I cut them no slack is if they lie or deceive me...once is all it takes. I dont get mad or treat them rudely, I just dont give them the benefits of a superb customer interaction.
Unfortunately, Starbucks hiring has been abominable as of late, too many ignorant partners under the age of 22 for my taste. Most are lame and suck big ass. :)
Posted by: Chirp | August 03, 2005 at 01:17 AM